Il Buon Viaggio: My First Flight

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We don’t travel much in my family. It just takes too much time and effort what with taking off work, and buying gasoline, and checking into hotels, just too much. And yet here I am, at the ripe yet unexperienced age of twenty-one, I’ve decided to go to Rome. Never been out of the country, never even been on an airplane but I was determined to get to Rome and there was only one way to get there (because boats take forever and I don’t know how to swim). So I secured a flight (or flights rather because it took two to get here) with a travel agency (because I didn’t trust myself to do it correctly) packed my bags and headed off on my Roman holiday. Here’s a brief look at the assortment of thoughts that passed through my head:

Wow, this is a lot tinier than I thought it would be”

This plane is comprable to a flying yellow-dog (school bus)”

“Really wishing I had a better grasp of physics so I could rationalize my fears away”

We have nothing to fear but fear itself….and birds getting stuck in the turbines causing us to explode in the sky,”

If the plane crashes I hope CNN uses a good picture of me….they probably won’t”

I hope we don’t burn up on re-entry to the atmosphere…..wait, we’re not in space…..but still”

[In my Seinfeld voice]”What’s the deal with airplane food?”

That wasn’t so bad”

Wait, I think I’m going to throw….”

Great, now the flight attendants keep referring to me as “the sick one”

“Airplane pilots should really use the word “unfornately” sparingly”

Oh my God, that’s Italy down there, kind of looks like California, so beautiful”

All in all it wasn’t that bad. But I have to admit I’m not really looking forwar to that return flight.

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